The trails and tribulations of a shy Artist
When reflecting on my younger years, I never considered myself shy (although I was painfully shy as a child thinking about it now). In my late teens and early twenties, I embraced socialising as a norm. However, this lifestyle led me down a path of partying, addiction, recovery, and the revelation of being diagnosed with AuDHD (ADHD and autistic) at around age 30 following a breakdown in 2017 and relapse with substances which ended at end of 2017 finding recovery (4 years of meetings).
Fast forward 6.5 years, and I find myself surprisingly reserved in sobriety/clean when it comes to initiating conversations. That's where my dog, Ralph, comes in. Walking with him opens doors to conversations naturally; after all, being a dog lover is a universal language. Yet, despite my love for individual connections, often with great passion and love for those humans, I often feel apprehensive about approaching strangers. Will I intrude on their day? Will they welcome interaction, or prefer to be left alone? What is a natural conversation opener. This is why its best not to try too hard and trust common interests will bring about welcome conversation, and when asked what do you do? Artist is always the answer. Its not to promote myself, it's just that is the truth, that is who I am and how I spend most of my days.
Recently, I attempted a grassroots marketing approach with flyers, intending to distribute them door-to-door, the whole street, selecting streets by their proximity and whether it was within an area either known for its art or near to where I was showing my art. However, I found myself unable to muster the courage to do so, unlike my previous experience in door-to-door charity work (one of the worse jobs ever). The lack of structure and support of a team doing the same scary and boring job, left me paralysed with doubt and whether this was the right thing to do.
Returning home, defeated, I encountered another dog owner, one I know of well, sparking an unexpected conversation about our pets' behaviour. “My dog is friendly you know?” Sorry what?….”my dog is friendly. Where is your dog now?” Yes no worries is can see your dog is friendly (if a bit persistent but loving) but unbfortunelty mine doesn’t wish to play with yours and doesn’t like your dog which I am sorry about.
This encounter made me realise that my approach needed adjustment, not everyone is my people, people don’t get on with everyone, much like dogs don’t. Instead of blindly targeting specific neighbourhoods, I decided to rely on instinct and energetic feel. Observing the characteristics of homes and businesses, I chose where to leave my flyers strategically. Who were home proud, who had quirky little fairy in a hole in the wall, who had decor on the door like signs and doorknob being bespoke, who had sculpted trees and quirky garden ornaments, who had community veg boxes “please help yourself free” , anything like this felt like a sign that maybe just maybe this could be a like minded soul. I’m sure many marketing gurus would not recommend that you only post to interior design and architecture you resinate with. Its not that I wish to exclude anyway. Its just I have no idea who that person is and therefore I don’t wish to give unwanted post to those who hate receiving flyers, I may get it wrong but I try to feel it out. This feels much more personal and less scary than a flyer drop campaign. So if you have received one it is because I something quirky stood out, and I liked the decor, if you didn't receive one I probably still liked the decor but the front gate scared me off, if there wasn’t a front gate I just chickened out for no reason, other than the image of the door opening and being told I was selfish for posting flyers about my art and to please go away…the mind can be cruel. Nothing personal.
While some may perceive flyer distribution as intrusive, I see it as an opportunity for connection. By infusing my flyers with my artistic identity, I aim to intrigue rather than impose. It's about finding spaces that resonate with my work and fostering genuine connections.
The flyer designs by Chris Shopland
Recently, I visited a café, Fed https://www.fedcafe.co.uk/ on Fishponds road recommended by fellow artists at the circular art space bus https://circularartspace.co.uk/ , envisioning my art adorning its walls, I got talking to them and was told the owner doesn’t usually ask for local art perhaps not their ascetic but I could email them, they later asked if I had any examples and took. Flyer to pass on. I will email them too because while I have a lot of high energy stylised work, I was thinking a framed print of one of my kingfishers or the eagle, as large as it would go could look amazing in that space with the pipes making a square frame too. I left determined to reach out via email. Such opportunities remind me that success in the art world is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about storytelling and building a community around my work, rather than instant validation or financial gain from paint on a canvas alone, while many art doesn’t have much of a story, a lot of my work does. I start with either an emotion or a scene I wish to convey, and work backwards from this story, some I just wish to paint that image but more times than not its due to being an emotion I like to revisit.
Although I sometimes wish for the same ease in networking as I do in painting, I embrace the authenticity of my journey. Painting is my calling, my purpose, despite questioning its practicality in society. It sustains me through moments of fatigue and doubt, where I am unable to work due to health, art is flexible where I can take time off (although I fear this being the case if it becomes my livelihood) grounding me in my identity as an artist and allowing me to have a sense of purpose and direction.
Ultimately, my art is a bridge to connect with others, whether through conversation or silent contemplation. While the path may be uncertain, I trust in the process, knowing that every artwork brings me closer to my vocation in life.
